These are the top 10 answering machine messages from The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages - they're simply fantastic. Enjoy!
10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. ... We're painting the hall.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.
8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling.... And I'll think about returning your call.
7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
6. Hi. This is Bart. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.
5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave the right kind of message, I'll call sooner.
3. Hi. Now YOU say something.
2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages. Okay, this last one was too suggestive, some of the words have been changed changed (those are in brackets).
1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're (busy doing something very special). So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.
I love #9!!! I get phone calls for aluminum siding and windows all the time! I'm wondering how many times I'm going to have to say "not interested" before they get tired of calling!
Ha! Funny stuff!